Dear Diary,
I think I am a little bit more normal today. So this post will be a
little bit more optimistic! whoopee!
i was almost late for school today! goodness, i spent 15 minutes
packing my bag, and that's really long, must learn to pack really fast.
But on the bright side, i managed to be on the same bus as Edmond or
Edmund, my primary school senior. He's sec. 4 this year, taking chinese
Os on 29th May. He is really nice, and we chatted all the way till
Whitley Secondary School bus stop, where i ran for my 74. Praise the
Lord! i managed to catch it.
I stopped at coronation plaza, thinking that NTUC will be open as i
wanted to get batteries. However, it will only open at 9, so i had to
go to 7 Eleven to get them. When i made my payment with cashcard, the
poor counter guy thought it was NETS! hmmm, do i look that rich or
something? although i know that it is politically incorrect to say that
you are rich if you have NETS. then i walked to school and i saw a few
JC side kayaking seniors, they were doing pull-ups. After that, i went
to the canteen to have a light meal of tuna sandwich. wait... i think i
am getting too detailed... then flag-raising, then meeting with
leadership camp pals and then back to classroom, then to art block,
where i found out i am the first group to present!!! x_x
that's very very bad cause my group is not very prepared, actually, we
were not prepared at all, praying that we could at least get through
the prelims... and i slept during the session and Mr. Tan caught me in
action, or rather in no action. And i was awakened with everyone's eyes
stuck on me. NEGATIVE attention x_x
SO SORRY Mr. Tan! didn't mean to sleep, slept really late the night
before... was listening to Fr. Roderick's daily breakfast =P
after that was lunch, which was coffee, after lunch was english term
test, yet again, i am praying hard for at least a B3 grade. after that
was an appointment with Mrs. Sim. Mrs Sim is really nice, she has eyes
that could speak, they are really big and hmmm, shiny. she went through
with us the HRP paper patiently and even got books out from the
staffroom and even copied some notes for us! Thanks so much Mrs. Sim!!!
Now which HRP mentor will be so nice =D
When i was walking away, i saw Mrs. Mok with Ee Chu, teaching him math.
I hold Mrs Mok in great respect and honour as she is really a GREAT
woman, teacher and mother-figure. However, she tends to be rather
sensitive. Hence, we must be really sensitive on our part too, or we
might unknowingly hurt her feelings, like what happened yesterday. I
really pray and hope it will not happen once more. Mrs Mok is very very
patient, really patient and she's like a mother-figure to me in school,
very approachable, very nice.
after that i went home, and Godpa sent me back home from northpoint as
it was raining really really heavily. But anyway, Thanks Godpa!
it's Isaac's birthday today. Isaac's my eldest brother. AKA Da4 Ge1
we had our anticipated Mian4 Xian4 , and mango cake! how sinful =(
and Mango and Lemon sorbet too!!!
yum yum, especially when it is 99% fat free! guilt-free!!!
this post is getting really long.. hmmmm...
Oh yes, I would like to mention my Godpa today, he is a great man, who
was, is and will be always there for me. I really have no idea how to
thank him. But i guess the only thing that i can do is to be there for
him always too. He is a great advisor and someone nice to talk to.
Thank you so much Godpa, you have no idea how much i think you done for
me. LOVE you!
there's just so many people to thank, Erica and Chelsea for talking to
me especially when i was low and pessimistic. really sorry to show the
ugly side of me.
and i accidentally said the "f" word once today in a few months time!!!
arghhh, very mad with myself, shouldn't have allowed anger to get the
better side of me.
and i might be having lunch with YanLin and Augustine on saturday!
whee, anticipate it, havent met her for a long long time now.
signing off here!
see you soon and God Bless!
~matt
there's just so much that happened this few months, both pain and
sweet, bright and dark.
but my current mood is still blue
since that incident, i wasn't able to really smile, and i wasn't really
able to think right.
i start converting back to my bad facade, my ego went high, pride got
the better of me, and now i'm just a total pessimist.
i dont wanna be like this. just hope no one is reading this post, i
think its just not me.
went to Nerissa's school today for their investiture. it was good, but
the dance was rather revealing, made me quite uneasy.
but in anyway, it's still a great performance sista.
reconciliation is really hard. very very very hard.
but something harder is forgetting.
at first i thought forgetfulness was my niche area, but now i finally
realised that it is definitely my greatest weakness.
I am unable to put things down and move on. i get stuck in that
situation, and try to adapt to it, never able to actually climb out
from it.
my table's finally tidy and neat. but one thing for sure, my mind isn't.
i always appear to be fine on the surface, but i might just be the
person needing most help.
GOD! i wanna be closer to you, but i am very weak.
send me gifts of faith, hope and love, so that i could spread joy and
laughter to the people around me.
give me tears, so that i could just cry everything out and carry on
with my life.
give me pain and hurt, so that i might be able to use them as
painkillers for my current pain.
this is really getting pessimistic, and i just dont feel like carrying
on anymore.
see you soon,
matt