hullo everyone! got a new hp! ask me for number.... cos this is
internet and evryone could access...
in a high mood today!
presentation went well too!
=)
in the mood,
~matt
woke up rather early today again...
the fieldtrip to sungei buloh wasnt good... =(
it rained.
so we were hugging our bags over there at the benches stoning and
sleeping...
returned to school to do the main architectural design of the
environmental lab. ours is dome shaped. kewlll
orientation briefing was GREAT except it wud have been better with a
"whoosh".
now brainstorming for a likely theme....
tmr is presentation for njrc... pray hard.
nuthing much to write today...
but i dunnoe if i shud still hand in my young gentlemen's award form...
~matt
yup, quite a lot of things happened today. well, to start it off, i
woke up at 5.30 am, to hand in overdue homework to mrs. jaya, maybe its
because of guilt.. maybe of fear... hmmm, don't really noe it myself.
saw her at the table. then i was like "OMG!!! am i gonna get scolded or
sumthing?" heaved a sigh of relief when she just spoked to me with her
good ol' tone. 2e pple will noe that tone.... yup, that one. the nice
one.
then when i wen tback to class,i found out i was lagging again. i found
out it was idp... and we didn't have to bring all the studying stuff..
argghh...
yup, later went down to present prizes to school during flag raising.
SCGS girls came for exchange program.. u noe its kinda hot in the
morning, and i was already perspiring ... they were wearing blazers. i
bet they were really feeling uncomfortable... sorry SCGS girls, on
behalf of my school =P
iDp was kinda boring but have to stay focused in accomplishing every
task. i made a pact with you... remember my dear blog?
i got a feeling i will flunk my science this time if i don't study...
must really pia... missed the whole of last week because of coughing...
being sick really isn't good at all.... cant do this ... cant do that.
after school was proed emergency meeting, actually it was just some
meeting to ask who want to volunteer themselves for the storytelling
sessions held at taman jurong cc. but due to schedule clash and
transport difficulties, i am unable to help. sorry alf...
after that i went for lunch with qi han and pals. qi han and i are
really getting really close.. becoming really close friends.. i hope
this relationship could last a long long time. we are just so similar.
somehow... =)
after that was teacher's day pre-event briefing... nothing much
actually, i was just in-charge of marking the attendance.
i don't wanna be a guard!!! no!!! its against human rights!! violation
of human freedom! i don't wanna do it. so maybe... qi han and i
will.... havent thought of any ideas yet... but don't you think so,
guarding those fellow schoolmates means many things. firstly, you dont
trust them, secondly, it breaks the holy rule of freedom God gave us.
However, there has to be one that must be the "bad" person. like in yan
han's case during slc. really emphatise with her... but it is really a
very brave act. a selfless act.
after that i went to play chapteh with qi han, zhong han and boey.
well, its actually my first time "really" playing..i was really very
lucky.. God's gift. started really well in my first try. i even created
a stance. but it always misses... argghh.. haha.. chapteh was never
that fun before. thanks to the three of them!
after that went to bot room to slack,play big 2, which was really
wrong... dont learn. and returned library books.
then after slacking abit more.. just went home. yup, thats about it. my
phone no money already... bleah...
bus trip was a very bad experience. u noe sometimes although the bus
has a lot of people and u really try to take the least space... but you
see people just standing there, waiting for a seat. they are
practically depriving others of a chance to even board the bus.. how
selfish.. i was really very angry... really just cannot stand those
type of people. sometimes people should just think that they are
others. but they dont! many singaporeans don't! i really hope and kiasu
thing stops in my generation as we mature.
maybe thats the best way to understand someone, to put him or her in
your shoes, face a same situation. only then you would understand him
or her better.
thats about it for today..
always there for you
~matt
these days are really busy. so i got to apologise to mrs. jaya.... i am
not boycotting you by not handing in homework. i am busy doing stuff
for wen bo and the robotics team... i really hope she understands this
time. maybe she understands all along.. maybe she cared... but maybe i
am sure i misintepreted it somehow. these few days have been really
busy and hectic. yesterday just handed in njrc journal and research.
ours was packaged in a pipe, with a2 sized paper in it... Cresent
robotics pple are really extreme, they made a well. yes, a WELL, with
the retractable rope thingy and some replica of a newater storage
tank... pure hardwork. =)
yesterday wen bo fetched us all the way back home
from science centre to admiralty to yishun and then to hougang. he
treated us. the fare? 29.something... omg...
anyway, thanks wen bo
and i really like the pipe that we made, really original...
anyway, today woke up really late and went to see doctor. relatively
late compared to my parents...
after seeing physician Cao, went to school cos i left something
important there. when i reached, sec 1s, jerrold and wen bo there liao.
yup then started slacking there and helped jerrold upload his webbie.
for lunch yaolei, carlos, wen bo, jerrold and me went to bukit timah
food centre. i ate mixed rice and red bean soup. yummy.
after going home, ate dinner and started using comp until now...
must finish english assignment, must not let mrs. jaya down!!
THANKS everyone was there when i was down and sick =)
i am not alone with all my friends there, beside me.
---- [ tears of joy] ----
~matt
hi pple, going to start bloggin once more after a long long break.
my break consisted of competitions and a long boring term of flu...
bleah.
during this period of coughing, headaches and bodyaches, i would like
to thank many pple for their help and support
first on the list....
FAMILY!
especially mama who take cared of me these few days. she sacrificed a
lot for my sake. papa for all the advice and support. oh yah, the pi pa
gao too. all my brothers for their care and concern and mental support.
the other first on the list...
DESMOND
i really have to thank you alot.. during this time you really helped me
a lot. i dint tell you to help me get all my hw, but u did. million
thanks!
JIE
for giving me moral support and counselling (don't worry, i am
perfectly fine...)
EVERYONE ELSE
=)
but felt kinda lonely those few days though... everyone busy with their
own stuff..
today was slack day in school
robotics sabat was slacky.. thanks wen bo.
but i gotta do research.. bleh.
cant dissapoint wen bo this time...
then went out for movie with clarissa and sara
clarissa was kinda out of her mind today...
i dunnoe why though
charlie and chocolate factory was a great show.. but not touching
enough...
cya guys soon, gtg now
always there but are you there?
~matt
today, jaya is attacking me again... i am gonna explode soon, i have no
idea why she has to push me so much. izzit because she has high
expectations of me? maybe. but i really cant tolerateit anymore. QUIT
council then quit. u forced me to. jaya, you make me cry.
last monday, got a cut on my left wrist, now got a cut on my right hand.
the cut today was kinda deep.. about 0.3 cm almost 2 cm long..
how i got it is a very very long story... but it is NOT a suicide
attempt...
somehow, i just missed my acupoint by like 0.5 cm... phew..
it might be a signal from God above, it might be a time of risks and
anxiousness, but not yet death.
arhhhgg.. joseph is our coach.. i thought it was cher..
dunnoe whether that is good news or bad news.. joseph is kinda slacky
though..
cant draw.. cause of my right hand. dont worry, mr lonely will be back
soon.
feel low... feel like bursting into tears.. but i dont noe why...
everyone is very bz nowadays.. jie! jia you =)
i shall give out my happiness to my max.
learnt a very important lesson today, SHARE. if i just shared, wouldn't
have got a cut.
remember to share your joys, smiles, pains, tears, love
i feel hurt... by many pple, including my form teacher..
~matt
still lonely.
hello pple, busy these days, so no time to write. somemore got amnesia,
so cant write stuff after the day itself. today woke up with sores all
over my body, must be the heritage trail.. attended 10.15am mass today
with fabian and bryan. as usual, fabian was crapping. cat class was
okay. teacher ignatius talked about the hungry ghost festivals and his
happenings.. after that went to take bus home. then i decided to talk
with clarissa. so,we ended up talking under her blck for quite a long
time. after that i went home and slept.... woke up, did my english
assignment.... days are getting boring. hope someone could brighten up
my life. i finally realised... she isnt the one... =( should have
just stuck to destiny and fate.... ='|. remorse,but i cant do anything.
nothing is gonna happen when only one hand wants to clap... its time to
move on....
my heart is broken, but yet i feel so relieved...
~matt
yup, i forgot to tell ya guys that i've cut my hair. after long coaxing
by my form teacher who said my hair looked like some 60's singer's
hairstyle =s.
cut until kinda short.. makes my head look very BIG. argghh.. so ugly.
^ hair gone, BIG head left.
woke up late today. sorry san ge (my third brother, raphael) ! dint noe
that i need 15 minutes of ringing before i could wake up =P.
on the bus cant sleep too.. too shaky. very tireeddd... for english we
did crossword puzzle, lit lesson was the usual stuff, revising fo the
test next week. got 22/25 for assignment =)
during math lesson i was punished for saying the word "w*h l*o" well..
its not really a bad word but my teacher doesnt like it. but it was
kinda good to do some exercise in class..hehe 11 pushups.
chinese did compo. kaijun and i realised we did it pretty quickly. so
we played tic-tac-toe for about 10+ minutes.
we had our last science practical today =(
Mrs. Chua is the best science module teacher! undisputed! well...
besides GOHYY of course, but she is better.
chemistry test got 34.5/40 =) yayness.
after school went to college to eat. saw marcus. MARCUS! as in my
canoeing senior. he just came back to singapore yesterday. from
hungary! he represented singapore! so zai.. wish i could be like him.
haha, he joked saying he would give me 'secret' training! haha, hope so
but he is kinda busy though. very very zai senior... muz become like
him =)
during aep we rendered the animations. then halfway through weets,
jonathan and i went to the library to watch movies. the movie was
"taxi".. kinda vulgar and obscene though.. we dint complete it. so
weets and i wud be meeting again tmr afternoon to finish the movie.
i designed a new mr lonely! my draft:
^ part 1 draft. ^ part 2 draft.
recently, there was this uproar of bad neighbours. quite immature dont you think so? i think that the way to solve this problem is thru giving in and acceptance. Acceptance is very important when you live next to another person, always remember! Giving in is equally important. give in when you can. even if it doesnt benefit you, just dont go to the extent that harms you. remember! hope these words help you in having better relations with your neighbours, no matter where! and last point, ALWAYS GIVE A SMILE! =)
always there for you,
~matt
that day i passed by chelsea's blog. i dont think i was supposed to know the site though..
one of her posts was "If only...." kinda long, so i dont wanna write it down. she says on the last line, "if only there was no ifs" i think you get the sentence. however, without all the "ifs" there wont be changes, and the only constant is change. so can you imagine a world without "ifs", without change? can you imagine such a dead world?? i wont be able to live there. if there are no ifs, scientists could not have made up hypotheses. without ifs, the world will never be the same anymore..
COMMENTS PLEASE! =)
^ change is the only constant..
living in this ever-changing world.
~matthew
have you ever thought what is the most important thing in your life?
it might be your friends, your family, your precious pet dog. it might be anything.
but for me, i think its love.
don't blame me for being mushy. but its the truth, dont you think so?
love comes in many forms, friendship, parental love, bgr and many more.
without love, there won't be today, there won't be earth!
God created humans out of love! we are born of love! so lets give love to others! =) CHARITY! remember to help others when you can!spread the love, give more and take less =)
COMMENTS PLEASE! =)
^ the most important thing in life. L-O-V-E. spread it
breathing love-filled air,
~matt
was watching TV. then i came across this cartoon. the character inside said "True friendship occurs only when you see what is in the inside" Very true rite? i think so. friendship is very important. friends are the people you look for when you are in need, when you are desperate, when you are happy and sad. true friends are people who stick with you during your ups and downs. they are the pple you will look for when you know you need someone trustworthy. friends are like guardian angels, guiding you all through your journey. someone who will always be there for you - me.
COMMENTS PLEASE! =)
^ true friendship happens only when you see the heart.
your friend,
~matt
today is national day!
happy birthday Singapore.
but i hate crowds. bleah... so prefer to stay at home.
woke up at around 10, then read newspaper till around 11.
after that i had breakfast with dad.
and then watched TV for almost the whole day.
dint eat lunch. later godpa and godma came and brought me to northpoint
to buy groceries. i went there also because i need to get new resources
for my blog. pencils. running out of pencils. gotta buy more to draw or
else this blog is no longer special anymore. =) dont you think so?
when we came back, godpa started cooking.
suddenly, clarissa called. she said there was an "emergency". well,
that "emergency" was that she needed someone to take the goodie bags
cos she has 4. haha so greedy ah. so, i went down and rushed towards
the tent where she should be at. i found her. but she was talking to
her friend, so i tried to get her attention by going somewhere she can
spot me. then she gave me the light sticks. this indian guy came up and
asked me "Where did you get so many of those light sticks?" he said it
quite an angry tone, i guess many people stole it or sumthing, it kinda
frightened me though. then i said it was from my friend. then he said
"Who?" then i was like, er... why you want to know? you expect me to
tell you her name? there was nothing wrong with that but i dont think
you know all your volunteers rite? then i said, "My friend" and pointed
towards the npcc volunteers. then he just walked away. ~phew, angry
threat gone..
yup, then later we walked to her block, and i was the servant, carrying
all the 4 bags.. haha.. it was voluntary though. then she brought up
the bags. i waited under her block. after that we walked round yishun
reservoir 3 times, talking. dont think dirty. she has a bf oredi. then
i went home.
for dinner we had u-don in chicken stew and baked macaroni ( my godpa's
new speciality ) YUMMY =)
the fireworks were pretty although this was the second time i saw it
cos they also displayed it during a rehearsal.
cant remember what happened after that.
later i will talk about the stuff i "learnt" when i was watching TV...
catch ya pple really soon
~matt
hello everybody,
feeling down today. dunnoe why though, but feel very confused, not sure what caused this confusion too... if only i could run into somewhere warm and let my tears fall...
today was a bad day, dominated by the mask of me... sometimes i just want him to go away... but seems like its very hard for it to leave. its almost like me shadow... gotta suppress it.
late for school today, bad start.
nuthing much happened later on.. march pass. then the carnival started. jie you shud hav came! was kinda hot though... but its okie, there is still next year. after a while, chen tong and i left the crowded scene to have breakfast at hcjc, well we were not supposed to do that but the canteen wasnt open. bleh..
when we came back, wen bo told me to sell nuts, which was our item for the carnival. he gave me 6 rolls (kacang putih). lets see.. the price was supposed to be a dollar each. but in the end, i sold 2 for a dollar, 1 for 50 cents, and gave 2 away.. wait, that only adds up to five. oops, cant remember where the last one went to.
the climax of the carnival was the performances. the bands were okay. but the best as a sec 4 guy. his vocals were very good, he sang a few songs by FIR. yes, FIR, if you dint see him, you wud think it was a
girl. seriously.
and i must thank 2c for all the ice cream. especially the canoeists. thanks chuan yi, weets and timo! i had a wonderful time at your stall. well,actually everyone did.
for lunch, chen tong, woon yang and i went to coronation plaza to have golden rooster (the name of the stall). woon yang had a craving for lemon chicken rice just now and wanted to go there. chen tong and i thought of a good idea.... terms... woon yang had to give us each a treat of 1 dollar then we wud go. we got it! at first i thought we were joking. anyway, thanks woon yang! later we went back to skool to do robotics stuff, went pass 7-eleven to get drinks. as usual, i was
slacking in the bot room XP...
later i went home, and slept on the bus on the journey back home.. zzz... tired.
then i felt really low, i dint noe why but yup, need company. so i called clarissa, and we had a good chat. then we came across the topics of our true personality and different personae that all of us have. these masks cover all your sadness and pain. they make you live in a state of self-denial. not many people really think these deep. but if you try to remember, when was your last time using a different mask? i
guess its not long ago.. i also use masks to cover up everything... its only when talking to a few people then i could truly throw my bad mask away, and just be myself. sometimes, i really hate this mask of mine, it is sadistic and sarcastic and hurt others a lot,and many other things you can think of. GO AWAY bad freak! :'( you make me cry.
^ the more you use masks, the true you will slowly fade away, and you will become your mask itself...
living in sadness and lone,
~matt
hie everyone!
i had a very good day today. how about you? well, it started well by remembering to comb my hair.. haha... nah just joking. well first thing in the morning was church, attended the 9 am chinese one with my mother. after that i had breakfast with my friends in the church canteen. actually nothing much happened, so i will skip to the exciting parts. i finally passed chelsea her present. yup, finally, after one year of waiting in the closet for mr.lonely pool bear, he could finally return to where he truly belong. passed it to her outside classroom before class cos i am leaving early for the NUS performance later on.
i left class at about 12 and went to 7-eleven to get a drink. before taking the mrt to buona vista, i had lunch at northpoint, black pepper chicken rice. yummy.and i proceeded towards my destination. i think jie will start smiling if she reads this post. i got lost again! haha =) your good old didi.
and i was walking around buona vista mrt for about 5 minutes plus. then i sat at the bus stop, dazing, and sending sms to my brothers to ask them how to go. but none of them replied me =( budden a level mate came and brought me to the place. thanks unknown guy! when we reached there, we had another problem, there was no shuttle buses on sunday!!! arggghhh... so together with two ladies and a little girl, we decided to take a cab there. the lady was very kind, bearing all the costs. thanks unknown lady! and then we went for the performance. it was about national day. i won't specify on the details cos it wud take quite long, besides i cant remember =S hehe..
after that i went shopping with augustine and qi han. well, it was actually just augustine that was doing all the shopping though.at around 5.30 we went back home. qi han had tuition and left early. so i took mrt all the way back to yishun, i was sleeping on the train. thank God i woke upone stop before yishun. phew...
something really interesting happened to me at the interchange. as i was rushing back home, i saw that the bus has just left, then i saw
this indian gentlemen wearing sunglasses and holding a guiding stick. i helped him to the bus waiting area. i though it was all fated that i help him. so i led him all the way back to the ground floor of his flat, where he took the stairs up and i left him. i felt really good helping him. and i really think that everything was fated. once i left,i proceeded to the bus-stop and the bus came immediately. the bus brings me all the way home! yay! it really pays to help people. as i said, we should help others with our strengths. you will hav a sense of fulfilment! so next time, when you see someone in need, help him or her and you will get to know the rewards!
^ helping others is like being an angel pulling others up into the sky...
ending here.
cya people soon!
the someone who is always there,
~matt
sumtimes, do you ever wonder what you are on earth for?
well, only God knows i guess.
but on your path so self-discovery and enlightenment, what is the so called "criteria"...
this is my point of view.
TO live it up to your fullest!
if you ever question yourself why you are living on this world, there is one thing that is sure. to pursue and live your dreams. help others with your strengths and fight against your weaknesses.
you live this life, with a dream in your head. everyone has different dreams, and everyone will hav different dreams as they grow up. without dreams, there is basically no point to live. without dreams, there is no light at the end of the tunnel, and finishing line in the race.
although the journey might be very long and painful, but always keep in mind your dreams and your joy, that will keep you going.
since you have already started this journey, never stop during your path to towards the light. some people end it by suicide or maybe live in a life of misery and sadness.
this is not the way! everytime when you meet an obstacle in the journey, it is a trial to test your endurance, after each trial, you would be stronger, and will not do that same mistake again...
life is about ups and downs, without all the downs, life wont be life anymore. you have to learn to pick yourself up whenever you fall, and it would be good if you have others in your team to light. friends and loved ones i mean. your loved ones are very important to you. you know it.
besides sharing all your joys, share your pain with them, in that way, you'll slowly get the meaning of life thru people somehow
some other people live for others, this could keep the person going,
but what if the person he or she lives for dies? that person would most likely fall into "daze".
remember, always have dreams.
helping others with your strengths is also very important. when you help someone, you have a great feeling. God did not give you your strengths for nothing, he gave it to you so that you could share this gift with others, by helping them. if you put this gift to good use, most likely u wud lose it.for me, i think my gift is drawing, and i am trying to use my drawings to inspire people.
another important point! never escape from your weaknesses, fight them face-to-face. only in that way, you can win them. everyone has different weaknesses, but the way to eliminate them works on one concept, that is showing who's boss. fight your weakness till you win, and if you fall, always pick yourself up until you win. YOU NEVER FAIL UNTIL YOU ADMIT DEFEAT!
^ life is all about endurance, the one who admits defeat will die first
remember... hope these words can help you in a way or another.
always there for you
~matt
hello evryone,
i have quite a lot of things to say today as i experienced much today. called clarissa and we had a long long, nice chat on the phone. she was having a lot of stress due to the commitments she is having. jia you! u can do it.
firstly, i wud like to say that pressure can do two things, crush you down or push you forward. you have to learn how to control it to let do what you want. i noe that sumtimes it goes out of hand, but never always use the excuse that because you are human you can keep committing the same mistakes over and over again. you shud always learn from your mistakes and stand up from the fall. struggles are needed in life. without struggles, life wud never go on. trust me.
anger management is very important. venting your anger is necessary and essential. but always remember these few points. vent your anger on something suitable and not someone. something suitable... what do i mean?
for example, if you really need to hit sumthing, dont punch the wall! maybe you can use the bed for an alternative. if you want to scream, dont scream in front of others. find somewhere quiet where you can let everything out.
and most importantly, pressure control is not easy, it has to be practised to be mastered. i havent master it myself yet. always remember, pressure control isn't about keeping evrything inside. its not! it is about knowing when, where and how to vent your anger. this is very important due to the fact that if you do not do it correctly, you might hurt others either physically or emotionally.
^ its all about knowing when to let out...
and remember, never escape. if you escape you will end up nowhere. always confront your pressure, even if it is almost impossible. its time that you give yourself trust. hope that these words could help you in any way.
your someone that is always there for you,
~matthew
hie evryone,
yup, this message is directed to all parents and future parents.i think i am starting to grow really close bonds with my parents. however, is rather ironic as i found out that sumtimes, when they care but dont show it too much, their children wud appreciate them more and start to get closer to them..my dad used to be rather strict about me using the computer although he knew that i was doing work. i noe that he does that out if concern. but sumtimes its very hurting to feel that your parents are in a way reprimanding you for being good. thats not what they are trying to do! they are concerned about your health more than having a top-notch ace in studies. trust me.
these days, my dad is starting to understand my needs and is starting to become more relaxed. i feel that now i am
closer to him and i feel more comfortable with him.
remember parents and future parents! teenagers are just like train tracks and you are the builders. if you do not leave gaps for them to expand, they wud break and that wud affect other pple when the train goes off course. if you allow them to expand, they wud not break and the train would continue trips smoothly and safely.
it works on this simple concept.
~matt
hie pple,
today was a good day, my anger management was fine and i was in control, my bad self tried to take over but eventually it failed.slept at 2 in the late hours, studying geography. woke up at 5.30
later. very very tired...
there were 2 tests today comp studies and geography. i can finally heave a sigh of relief at the end of this gruesome week of killer tests.
comp studies test was first up in the morning.. the test paper was easy, even though i dint really study, mr. Kent cheong is kinda lenient, as usual.
after the test was chinese period, where we went thru our paper.then we reached a question (trans;ated into english) "Do you agree with the author that we should not pursue dreams that are against our abilities?".
Although i had full marks for that question for putting a "no" answer, i spent a bit of time reflecting on the question. Then i found out i was wrong. what keeps us driving in the need to pursue dreams, and with will, everything can be achieved. at first, people laughed at the wright brothers when they said they would fly one day. evryone thought it was a ridiculous idea and that it was impossible. but the wright brothers proved them wrong although the stereotypes were against them. Albert einstein had many theories, one being the theory of kinetic matter. no one believed in what he said, even until now, many physicists still has doubts about this theory, but recent results show that kinetic matter does exist. hence, is it really dumb to pursue dreams that are against our abilities? i will say no, provided God allows it and you pursue it with your utmost strength.
^ dream...
i got 2 points for the play during english lesson! yay! joy.
after lit period, mrs sim wanted to see us, wen bo, shu ren and i. however,due to the fact that we had geog test,we decided to see her after school. at first i thought it was just about lit. then i found out it was sumthing else. sumthing good :) she nominated us for young gentlemen's award. but am i worthy of it? i think i wud soon know myself...
geog test was fine, must give thanks to God and others who have encouraged me.
history lesson was documentray session, about the japanese invasion.
captaincy wud be held most likely next week, i hope the nominees have
been preparing well. gd luck to all of them!
signing off now.
your friend and refuge anytime,
~matt
during this hectic period of tests, i wud like to thank these few pple
who helped me.
mama - for giving me mental support and giving me encouragement,
helping me make supper.
raphael - for finding textbooks for me to study and psychological
support
yu fang jie - for giving me moral, psychological and mental support.
and evryone who has helped me in a way or another. pls dun feel bad if i dint mention your name.
i got amnesia... sry.
~matt
i am turning really bad...
i wanna become neutral towards the pple around me, especially xiaoyang,
but the bad side of me is taking over.
sometimes i dont noe which is more prominent!
but the bad side is winning.
nuthing much happened today except for chemistry test. seems like i
cant beat wen bo anymore. but it okie. life is not just about
academics, its about holistic learning, including character. i muz not
let it deteriorate any further..
self-control.
muz be like Mr. Edmund Teo, nice.
The art exhibition today was inspiring, it showcased paintings and
photographs from different genres and different age groups.
after that, weets, hong liang and i went to long john silvers to eat
erm... linner, in between lunch and dinner
after that we went home. on the trip, we crapped quite alot.
causing much disturbance to the public. muz not do it again.
things arent going the way i want them to be though...
hard to describe but i feel that my life is getting narrower, towards
the light. The light however, is turning larger. I noe that this wud be
tough but i would go on.
as i said, sumtimes u nid to exhale all your pressures, all your pains.
sumtimes, u nid a shoulder to lean on. well, i have that. but
somethings cannot be shared. some pains and tears have to be kept
inside. maybe u noe wat i am feeling rite now.
i hope my bad persona wud be erased somehow.
God! help me on this path to your arms in heaven!
i have a long way to go! pls lend me a helping hand! although u hav
oredi given me many times.
talking about skool life,there is a test tmr, gtg study. GEOG! oh no...
okie. cya pple soon. looking forward to sunday :)
LOVE! fill the air to its maximum sweetness,
from your struggling loner,
matt
i got a feeling that my heart is turning harder, and that i am not as
good as before anymore...
why is there such a feeling?
is it really true?
these days, i wud be using a different persona when i meet people, a
ugly persona that covers my true self.
i am struggling, in the midst of knowing which is the true me!
so confused.
i hope my good side can win over the bad...
the shadows are engulfing me...
eating me up little by little, until i die off and it takes over.
where is the gentle matthew that i used to know?
now theres only an ungrateful, snobbish, selfing, insensitive piece of
shit!
people around me! i appeal u guys to help me!
or i might lose my good side forever. :,(
need to control..
my bad side is so wicked, so stupid and so sadistic, why is this so?
cant it be a little bit better?
God help me!
i wanna be softer, a better person.
help.... says mr. good lonely while mr. bad lonely is cheering at the
side.
^ since when evil wins good?
arrgghhh....
i dunnoe why i am feeling so hyper these days.
to the extent that i cant focus.
must meditate to focus.
focus. focus.
muz be because of lack of endorphins.
muz train....
budden hav to focus on chem now, then there's still geog and comp
studies on fri..
gotta focus. focus
may God Bless me..
~matt
hav u seen mr lonely?
if u havent search down.
tell me if u think it looks nice.
comment
thanks. =)
hie evryone,
today is a bad day...
cause i started it real bad...
i dint comb my hair...
but at first i dint realli care, not knowing what it might bring me
to...
however, i finally realised, to hav a good start, i muz comb my hair,
or at least dont make it look weird... these few days also forgot to
put deo... =(, having amnesia..
took the 6.20 bus and reached skool at around 7.14...
history test was fine, but i think i wont be able to score well.
too little time!!! everyone agrees! 40 min and 3 questions, minority
can accomplish it..
also due to the fact that "arhem" is our teacher...
but i shud hav read more on my part...
hmm... *remorse*.
PE was er... rather interesting
i found out i grown 1 cm! yay! 163 now. still a shorty.
then i missed a bit of lesson by going to the toilet.
after that went to play soccer.. well, dont really appreciate it
though.. just join in the fun...
after recess was chua, and i have to use only 3 minutes to gobble all
the food...
until i found out she was early for the first time... sad...
and i got into chem research module! yayness
during maths, i was trying to figure out what the teacher was saying..
lol...
sumthing bout planets, oh and i found out the ninth planet was called
sedna, a cool name for a planet...
but it is kinda lonely, furthest away from the sun.. dont you wanna
keep him company too?
during chinese, i drew this:
^ mr. lonely...
well, it's a sketch, so its not very nice..
got back chinese paper... got a1 just nice... 60/80... phew~
malay was as usual, keep blabering, cos i really dunnoe how to say it,
i missed one lesson! no fair! hmpf...
hwachong idol auditions was great! yes! and jiawei went up, after alot
of coaxing.
later took 852 with tai sun home, had a great chat.
then he told me chem test is easy, mine is tmr.. hehehe...
hope it really is. but when asked did he get a1, he said no...
irony..
and after i reached home, i on the comp and blogged.
okie, gtg mug for chem, cya later soon...
~matthew
arggghh!! rest awhile due to stress build-up
so come and write more...
11.48 now...
muz pia!
jia you matt!
hmm... feelin slpy..
but cant let myself fail.
okie, break time over
gtg pia.
catch ya soon..
on the road to dreams...
literally..
zzz
~matt
hie everyone,
this is my first official lonely blog.
arggghh... everyone is becoming super anti-xiaoyang these days...
must try to stop it, but oso cant, coz i am anti-him too
replacing a "blank" when his name is said..
so mean rite?
i dunnoe whether i shud really stay in council next year..
its like between ep3 and council,
i have to sacrifice one of em..
but i could feel that my passion for kayaking is rising, to the extent
that it is crushing down my other passions,like council for example.
but i really dunnoe which path to take.
jori told me on sunday, u dont paddle because u wanna win or because u
want a trophy. u paddle because of passion.
but it is due to my passion which causes this desperation.
aniwae, he said he thinks he is slower than boon.
but to boon* his timing is 2.18! 10 seconds faster than you. Bleh
today got maths test, i think i am seriously gonna flunk it... aiming
for b3...
b3 and i am very very happy.
dint really study though.. so muz not repeat mistake, must pia history.
and the subsequent tests
budden spend a bit of time bloggin first..
assembly was noisy... with xiaoyang chattering all the way...
its kinda chaotic..
oh yah! chairman was jia wei today! haha. aniwae, feel that jia wei's
feeling realli down. dunnoe what happened to him since the competition.
captaincy coming soon. some of the jokers wanna vote for paul.. bleh.
i think the four best wud be cj, ivan, berd (omg, i keep laffing over
the bird thong chai advert, all thanks to lilong) and kj
budden all of them arent perfect..
cj has too many commitments,
ivan is too kind, couldn't really command respect
berd, if he really get voted in, most likely he wud be very egoistic..
haha
kj, hmmm... sry but a lot of sec 2 doesnt like him, sodun think he wud
get it...
today at first wanna go run, but found out that too tired... then went
to sleep from 3 to 5+!! when i woke up, i was like... hmm... i slept
for 2 hours... and i am dead!! got history test tmr!!
then.. when i on comp, i wanted to blog, so fiddle comp until like 8+.
having lunch in between, and havent study... so damn screwed.. sry
alvintan...
got 61/90 for chinese... phew.. luckily neva go out of point...
chinese compre wud be received tmr, praying hard.....
okie... gtg mug.. cya pple soon!
realise your dreams...
matt