there's just so much that happened this few months, both pain and
sweet, bright and dark.
but my current mood is still blue
since that incident, i wasn't able to really smile, and i wasn't really
able to think right.
i start converting back to my bad facade, my ego went high, pride got
the better of me, and now i'm just a total pessimist.
i dont wanna be like this. just hope no one is reading this post, i
think its just not me.
went to Nerissa's school today for their investiture. it was good, but
the dance was rather revealing, made me quite uneasy.
but in anyway, it's still a great performance sista.
reconciliation is really hard. very very very hard.
but something harder is forgetting.
at first i thought forgetfulness was my niche area, but now i finally
realised that it is definitely my greatest weakness.
I am unable to put things down and move on. i get stuck in that
situation, and try to adapt to it, never able to actually climb out
from it.
my table's finally tidy and neat. but one thing for sure, my mind isn't.
i always appear to be fine on the surface, but i might just be the
person needing most help.
GOD! i wanna be closer to you, but i am very weak.
send me gifts of faith, hope and love, so that i could spread joy and
laughter to the people around me.
give me tears, so that i could just cry everything out and carry on
with my life.
give me pain and hurt, so that i might be able to use them as
painkillers for my current pain.
this is really getting pessimistic, and i just dont feel like carrying
on anymore.
see you soon,
matt